Help Teach Ethics and Morals
To Young People

Young people without instruction in morals are adrift. They freely accept any advice about their behavior that their friends, teachers, the TV, or their music suggests.

Most parents do not listen to the words of modern music, much less accompany their young people to concerts. The suggestive lyrics and the performer's stage behavior would be an educational shock to most parents.

Parents too often expect the TV to be the babysitter in the house while they do "important" chores.

Only though loving instruction can our young people discern the ethical nature of suggestive lyrics they hear every day. If you as a parent do not teach your children, others will.

The first step is to instill a knowledge of the basic objective standards. This may involve helping your youngster memorize the Ten Commandments or other sayings or proverbs that illustrate moral behavior. These sayings illustrate a base level of acceptable behavior below which it is not right to descend. It is wrong to violate the principles upon which these sayings are based.

You may discuss the commandments, proverbs, or other sayings with your children. Discuss the principles that are related to these sayings.

It is important to point out that the principles are universal in nature. That is, they apply to all the peoples of the earth, for all time. They are not just local laws that applied to God's people thousands of years ago in the Middle East.

Are the principles of right behavior you discuss with your children really universal or are they simply your opinions?

Young people have to know and understand these principles. In order to fully understand, they will challenge your explanations and your thinking. It's important that you can answer this question.

Let's first deal with this question from a non-religious viewpoint.

There are two general approaches.

1. Use general ethical criteria
2. Appeal to universally accepted standards

General ethical criteria are guidelines for determining if a rule of conduct is right or wrong. They help you think about situations in which the rule is applied by answering questions.

Good questions to use in evaluating an act or rule include:

1. Does it respect the rights of the people affected by it?
2. Does it meet the test of reversability? That is, would it be right if you were on either side of the situation?
3. Does thbe universal use or application produce good consequences in the long run as well as the short run, for the individual as well as society?

These questions take the approach that principles or rules of conduct are intellectually supportable.

That is, though proper thinking you can discover those principles or rules of conduct that ought to regulate society.

But, it also recognizes that though unstructured thinking, you can justify anything. History is filled to the brim with actions that were based on faulty principles. The above questions could not be answered "Yes" to those actions.

These questions form an objective atmosphere for evaluating moral actions.

The experiences of mankind have left an impression on each of our minds.

We see wars and the oppression of one group of people by another. We see violence in our communities and political scandals in our state and national capitals.

We, as well as all mankind, have a sense of what is right and what is wrong.

This sense has been expressed in several ways. One way is through the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights. It states in part that "disregard and contempt for human rights have resulted in barbarous acts which have outraged the conscience of mankind, and the advent of a world in which human beings shall enjoy freedom of speech and belief and freedom from fear and want has been proclaimed as the highest aspiration of the common people."

These statements of rights and responsibilities go far beyond your home or community. They were intended to apply universally to all people for all time.

This United Nations' Universal Declaration of Human Rights is included in the Appendix of my eBook on ethics. Some of the universal rights it describes include:

• Dignity
• Spirit of brotherhood
• Freedom from discrimination based on color, sex, language, religion, political opinions
• Right to life, liberty and security of person
• Freedom from slavery
• Freedom of thought, conscience, and religion
• Equal pay for equal work
• Right to be educated

These rights and principles are universally declared. As such, they form the basis for proper moral thinking and evaluation of specific acts.

The principles are more of a fence to guard against wrong behavior than a blueprint for right behavior.

You can use these principles to determine if a rule of conduct is right or wrong.

After a youngster learns the Commandments, you might then ask, "What principles are illustrated by each commandment?"

The Ten Commandments are the precepts or rules in accord with God's nature from which we can derive generalized principles. These principles can help us understand the characteristics of right, moral behavior. Various incidents or statements from the Bible can be used to illustrate each principle. You may find additional principles in Jesus' life or the writing of the Apostles.

For example, consider the commandment "You shall not murder." This was expanded by Jesus to mean that we should not harbor thoughts of hate which, if left unchecked, might lead to murder.

What principles of right behavior are illustrated by the commandment "You shall not murder"?

Some Godly principles you might discuss are:

• Mercy: Forgive one another as God has forgiven you.
• Love: Love is patient.
• Compassion: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

The commandment to "Honor your father and mother, that your life on the earth may be long" also illustrates certain principles. What are some of them?

• Honor: Care for your parents as they cared for you.
• Unity: We are members, one of another.
• Love: Love is kind.

After developing some moral principles, you might then ask: "Why are these principles right?"

From a religious perspective, your answer should always be: "Because they are part of God's nature." This may often lead youth into Bible study to more fully understand the nature of God.

Our God is Love. Jesus always showed respect to his mother and Father. He had compassion on the entire human race, even when they caused his death. He values unity (being one just as Jesus and the Father are one) among his people.

God, who lived among us as Jesus, embodied these principles. He was a role model to his disciples. They wrote about Jesus and emphasized his loving and compassionate actions.

The concept you want to get across is the relationship between the commandments, principles of conduct, and God. That is:

1. Precepts or commandments in accord with God's nature are basic behavior levels which are wrong to violate.
2. General principles derived from the commands or precepts in accord with God's nature can help determine right actions in everyday situations.
3. The principles are right because they are in accord with God's nature.

It is clear that opposite principles such as disrespect, hatred, or disloyalty are not right principles because they are not part of God's nature.

Young people must learn that they have personal responsibility for their actions or emotional outbursts. It's too easy to blame others. Many actions are thought out and planned in advance. Only the individual can regulate their own thinking. Teach young people to think about acting in accord with Godly principles rather than thinking about ideas antagonistic to Godly principles. Many people blame emotional outbursts on external circumstances. But, in the last resort, they can only be controlled by the individual. Teaching personal responsibility is important, especially in a society that seeks blame sources external to the perpetrator.

Objective Moral Values are often based on Godly principles. The principles are Godly because they reflect the very nature of God. The moral value, goodness or badness, of an action is determined by examining whether the action reflects an objective moral principle. While it is true that acts based on Godly principles usually lead to good long term results, the result is not the criteria for determining the moral value of the act.

You should resist the urge to justify a principle based only upon its desirable results. Once you start on that route, you are in for trouble as you follow the philosophy of pragmatism. You then must decide how to determine if a result is good or bad, desirable or undesirable. In most cases this leads to pragmatic ethical relativism. Then, one can justify most any action by defining the result as "good" or "desirable."

You should resist the urge to ask your youngster how they feel about certain situations as a means of establishing right and wrong. The philosophy of "Values Clarification" as once taught in government schools does just that. Teachers do not tell students what is right and wrong; rather the students are taught to discover their own values. Values Clarification attempts to tell students that their own likes and dislikes are statements of their value system. Just as they might value chocolate ice cream, they may also value cheating, or hurting others, or abortion.

Moral education in government schools primarily involves asking students their opinions. Various aspects of a problem are described, but it is up to the students to reach a moral conclusion. See the article from the New England Regional Leadership Program about values clarification. Notice that the teacher does not represent a moral authority, but rather encourages youngsters to express their views.

There is an emphasis in government schools to teach young people to decide important moral issues without considering God. The "lifeboat dilemma" is a prime example. In one variation, seven people are in a lifeboat provisioned for only four. The seven people are described in varying ways, usually including an elderly man, a pregnant woman, a corporate executive, an important research scientist, and so on. The young people are asked how to resolve the situation. Who should survive and who should perish? What lives are more important than others? There is no suggestion, for example, that prayer may be helpful.

Young people will encounter ethical relativism early in life. Whether playing with neighborhood youngsters or in the classroom. It is inevitable.

The best defense is to prepare your youngster before dangerous situations arise. Dangerous situations can have lasting detrimental effects. Young people will encounter enticing suggestions that will make them feel they must do something that is not right. One good way to help them resist is to rehearse proper reactions to these situations ahead of time.

Rehearsal or role playing is essential. No orchestra performs in public unless they rehearse frequently before a performance. Fire departments rehearse rescues in buildings designed to simulate truly dangerous situations. Police are trained to react appropriately to crowds chanting offensive slogans. Astronauts rehearse their mission many times before liftoff. Young people practice driving a car on the practice range before taking to the streets.

It's only natural that you and your youngster should rehearse proper reactions to and proper thinking about the exposure of enticing situations.

So, what are some of the enticing, tempting arguments that can be used to persuade your youngster to do wrong? Each argument attempts to evaluate an action by determining whether the consequences are desirable or not.

These philosophical variations of ethical relativism are treated separately in other pages at this site. You should read and be familiar with the arguments of each of these philosophies. You can often identify an enticing phrase or argument as falling into one of these categories. This is a key to understanding how the statement differs from objective moral values.

Some examples of arguments used to get young people to engage in improper activities include:

• Try it. You'll feel good.
• You'll do it if you love me.
• You're mature enough to do this, aren't you?
• You want to be popular, don't you?
• Everybody else is doing it.
• Do it. Be all that you can be!
• It will help you ... (pass the test, get a date, achieve success)

In each case, the result is something seen as desirable or "good." The result appears good in the short term, even though other inevitable consequences may be detrimental.

The moral problem with these enticing statements is that the actions themselves are not being evaluated against Godly objective moral standards. Rather, the consequences only are evaluated, at least short term, momentary consequences.

Your goal is to ensure that your youngster understands the difference between evaluating an action against a Godly principle and evaluating an action only by the desirability of a consequence.

Acting on Godly principles is a value. Once your youngster understands Godly principles and why they are right, he or she will easily understand why evaluating only consequences is wrong.

If your youngster is in a government school, you should keep in close contact with teachers and administrators. Learn how students are taught ethical and moral values at school. You may find you have some "un-teaching" to do at home with your youngster and some "political" activities to do with neighbors and at school.

The important thing is to do something. Today!

Recommended Reading

Right from Wrong: What You Need to Know to Help Youth Make the Right Choices

Other books on Parenting & Family